Monday, February 8, 2010

Is it a new year already?

So seeing as it's been nearly a year since my last post, I realize that I need to get back to it! So much has happened in the last year. I really don't even know how to start. Please know that I am so thankful that God has given me this venue in which I can get my frustrations out there and try to find the positive and important lessons that can perhaps help others who may be in a similar situation.

The first thing that comes to mind is that I feel like you need encouragement. Everyone needs and longs to hear an encouraging and uplifting word every now and then. And stepmoms need someone to encourage them daily, not just on "Mother's Day" or the Holidays. We are in a world all our own. I've said this before but it's worthy of making the point again. No one will ever understand what a stepmom goes through unless they are a stepmom themselves. This past year has been for the most part, fairly stable. Yes, there has been the occassional passive agressive and defensive emails along with some thoughtless actions and words that we've dealt with the best we can. It is evident now more than ever that God is faithful in His willingness to give us the appropriate words and actions at the appointed time. Sometimes, it feels like it's one test after another! But I know with His help, we can always respond in a loving and caring manner if we take the time to let our frustrations subside.

I also want to encourage you today to show your love to your stepchild. I have recently discovered how much they long for your and especially your husband's love and attention. I have found little ways to be affectionate with my stepchildren. And if you are struggling with this, just begin to pray and ask God to give you opportunities and show you how to demonstrate your love for them. I've noticed that when we put the kids to bed and we read our Bible story, they really open up about their daily worries and situations that weigh heavy on their little hearts. We hear all about the yelling and the tempers that flair at the other house. We hear about the struggles they are dealing with in school. We hear about the adult issues that the kids have taken upon themselves as their own. I would encourage you to listen to them, sympathize with them, encourage them, and perhaps the most difficult to remember - pray for them and WITH them. They are going through so much more than they let on most of the time. Verbalize how much you care for them and how much they mean to you. Chances are, they don't hear it often enough. And you and your husband may be the only ones who can give them and teach them what they so desperately need. They need your love, your attention, your sympathy, your patience, your gentleness. And through all these things, they WILL see Jesus in you. Have a blessed day and know that I'm praying for each of you this morning.


Anonymous said...

I cried the whole time I read your blogs. Thank you for the understanding and uplifting stories. Mother's Day is tomorrow, and it's hard not to feel sad/bitter as a stepmom. I look forward to reading more of your posts, and thank you for the religious aspect! It's a good reminder that God is always there for you and understands your pain.

Table For 5 said...

Found your blog through a search and enjoyed it very much. Do you plan to post more entries?

Sarah said...

Great posts here. It's a shame there aren't more recent entries.